The Lovechild of Non-Existent Animals

I've never been one of those people to do the obnoxious "Is it Friday yet?/Dear Friday, please hurry up and get here/Friday, where are you? etc" updates so pardon me when I say, HUZZAH! IT'S FINALLY FRIDAY.

OK, that's out of the way.

Next subject: An update on my favorite new article of clothing. You know, because it's Friday night, House Hunters is on mute in the background, I put my slippers on at 5:45 tonight, and this is my life. I woke up today, thought to myself, "Welp, I have two important meetings with big time peeps at the office where I'll have to present my work, I think I'll look like the creative I've always wanted to be and wear that new sweatshirt today." I put it on and thought, "Jesus. I look 12 with my glasses, braces, and fucking horse sweatshirt." I left the house dressed like that nonetheless. It's Friday, bitches. And I like horses and their fantastical cousins with wings.

Apparently, everyone has something to say about the pegasus sweatshirt, and that 'everything' is all good. Things like "Wow. I commend you on your pegasus sweatshirt..." It was here I thought this guy was really gonna give me props. It was here he continued, "My daughter is all about pegasus right now. She loves them."

Sweet, your daughter is what, 6?

Next up came, "Nice pegasus. Wait, I thought pegasus had a horn?"

Me: That's a unicorn.

He continues, "If pegasus had a horn like a unicorn, it would be a unisus!"

Me (and this is why I'm a writer): No. It'd be a PEGACORN!!! Obviously. Um, hello. Didn't you go to A&M? Didn't you have to take animal identification or something like that down on the farm? Come on. Three types of equines: horse, pegasus, and unicorn.

Anyhow, I highly enjoy saying pegacorn. Long live the lovechild of the pegasus and unicorn. If they can cross dogs and fruit trees (separately, of course, but wow - a beagle getting it on with a pear tree?) where the heck is my pegacorn.

Wow. Seriously, if I weren't running 20 miles at 5:30 tomorrow morning I'd have a life. Promise. Or at least, I'd have a better shot at having a life.