A Most Irrelevant Matter

I just ate - no wait, inhaled, a bag of plain M&Ms. They were delicious. Just what I needed after that salad. Easy to eat by the handful. Except, one thing was different. M&Ms come in a new kind of bag. And that makes me upset.

I use the term "new" loosely because I can't remember the last time I had M&Ms. Probably a couple years ago, sad but true. That fact aside, the bag was no longer that waxy, crinkly, semi-soft, thin paper that's easy to tear into. No, this bag was some sleek newfangled plastic probably made with space dust and cut by lasers. It was impossible to tear from the non-perforated side, which I'm sure was the intent but when you're really needing chocolate, it's kind of a pain in the ass.

I said it was irrelevant, didn't I?

*Four hours later and I am being informed that yes, I am way behind the times when it comes to candy. These bags have been around since like, before Bieber was born. Whatever. I'm a Twix person.