Dentist Hunting

This past weekend, I went to two different concerts, drove out of the city and into the 'burbs to Ikea and a mall (in the same trip, and I didn't even want to punch anyone), and enjoyed that whole "fall" feeling that's happening in the New England area right now.

More importantly, I looked for a new dentist. And here's my observation: Everyone who reviews a dentist, no matter what review site they use, starts their post with, "I really, really, really hate going to the dentist..."Then they go on to say that THIS dentist made them only hate it a little bit. Or this dentist was so bad, they added another "REALLY" to their list of how much they really hate going to the dentist. This type of review makes it really, really, really questionable and hard to tell if this dentist is in fact awesome, or just not as bad as the next guy.

My whole issue with any dentist review is that, for most of us, it's not about the dentist. It's about the dental hygienist/former high school cheerleader who didn't have a life plan beyond being most popular. Like Ashley.

These are the people who should be getting reviewed. They are the ones who are either too chatty, too aggressive, fake nice, horribly unfriendly, have bad breath, wear too much caked-on makeup that you have to stare at...I could go on for a really long time. Take my word for it. I have switched dentists before, and not because the dentist fucked up, but because the same 80-year old hygienist (the one hygienist who isn't like Ashley) would ask me the same 10 questions each visit, and our one-sided conversation (asking questions to someone whose mouth is full of hands isn't going to get you an answer, and they know this) would become a progressively harder-hitting sales pitch for Dallas. Me being a captive audience new to Texas, this was her golden opportunity to sell me a Plano timeshare, talk to me about SMU and brag about the State Fair (yes, this last one is totes worth bragging about, I get it now).

Also, the whole Handsome-in-a-Cheesy-Way Male Dentist with his Harum of Hot Dental Hygienists kinda creeps me out.

image via

So. I made an appointment for a new dentist (not the one in the pic above, though he got great reviews) and I go on Sept. 26th. I'll let you know how the hygienists are as well as the dentist. And the receptionist. And whether the office plays classical, Top 40 or rock. For the record, my last dentist was awesome, the hygienists were super friendly, and the office played KLUV, "greatest hits of the 70's and more."Big shoes to fill, new dentist.