Not a To-Do List But a Did List

So today - wait hold the phone. Let me get a glass of wine.

Okay there. Better. Today started off at 5 a.m. and I'd just like to list, in order of occurrence (for the most part) everything I've done. Not because it's necessarily a lot, just because, well, I started keeping track of how inane and a.d.d. and go-go-go I was today at 5:02 a.m. and 16 hours later, I'm still keeping track.

5:00 a.m.
Wake up from disturbing dream.
Shake head. Move on.


Struggle to stay out of bed.
Make coffee.
Make bed.
Put gym clothes on.
Put contacts in.
Put milk and splenda in coffee.
Open laptop. Decide to update my website.
Continue drinking coffee. Fast.
Begin updating HTML. It's 5:20 a.m.

I repeat, it's 5:20 a.m. and I'm writing HTML.

Go into the bathroom.
See toilet bowl needs cleaning.
Clean toilet bowl. At 5:30 a.m.

Return to HTML land.
Feel satisfied I can do this.
Finish coffee.
Go to gym.
Run fast on the treadmill (thanks, caffeine).
Get home.
Shower.
Eat oatmeal. This is not by choice but because my teeth.always.hurt.
Go to work.
It's 7:57 a.m.

...work...

peanut butter & honey sammie.
It's 10:00 a.m.
Running a lot makes me hungry.
Hungry can suck it.
PB&H I love you, you so soft and nummy-nummy.

...work...

Lunch.
Go to the mall.
Head to the food court.
Eat overpriced salad.
Work over lunch.
Talk about going back to school.
Talk about how we've done this all before.

...work...

Leave facebook comment on favorite Food Network star's fb post.
He's in Dallas today.
He replies.
Boom. My day. Made.

...work...

Leave work for sports doctor. It's 2:45 p.m.
Go to Office Depot on the way. Buy USB jump drive.
Get downtown. Wishing I worked downtown.
Park. Get raped by faulty parking machine.
Get to doctor. Have foot rubbed. Have legged rubbed.
Have foot and leg iced, heated, electrocuted, and rubbed some more.
High-five doctor. Hand over credit card. Cry.

...return to work...
Sit in a meeting. Once again, the brief was wrong, and so was my work.
...re-work...

6:00 p.m.
Leave work.
Get home. Make mac-n-cheese. Eat it quickly.
Go back to Office Depot. Buy DVDs.
Go to the mall.
Act genuinely sincere and friendly towards sales girl at Anthro.
Weird.
Realize I haven't been shopping since before Christmas.
High-five myself. Go me!

Buy a shirt I'd never buy that I really like.
It has parachutes on it.
And a ruffle collar.
Who am I?
Leave the mall.

Go to kinkos.
Print shit out.
See "How to check your balls" with a diagram of, well, balls, left on the printer.
Giggle.
Wonder if it belongs to one of the three dudes next to me.
Giggle more.
Leave kinkos without too much trouble.
Pretty sure this means next time, all hell will break loose.
FML.

Return home. Again.
Go on Facebook.
Reminded the cute boy isn't single, just lazy about his relationship status.
Sigh.
Decide to blog instead of work.
Decide to drink wine before blogging instead of work.

It's 9:01...reminded of the 9-0-1 Bar in college.

How did I get here?
Where am I going?

...work...